Another of life's mysteries
There are many things I simply don’t understand about life.
The inverse relationship between people who work in customer service and their desire to serve for example; why Adam Sandler films are classified as "comedy"; when reading porn on the Tube during commuter crush became acceptable and why Southgate in London is so far north it could be in Bedfordshire. But curiosities aside, I have been stopped in my tracks again by one of life’s unanswerable questions.
In our cotton wool wrapped/ no one's responsible/ risk averse world I am overwhelmed with a desire to stop people in the street and ask why?
While I could be talking about ill advised make-up or clothing so tight you can not only see VPL but the gusset seam of said panties, I am in fact talking about people who drink coffee through a straw.
Or, more specifically, people who mistake white plastic stirrers as straws and so drink coffee through a sugar stirrer.
To make myself entirely clear, I mean coffee. Not those weird frothy, coloured fruity drinks that are made in chain store coffee shops and which I suspect contain no more caffeine than those herbal supplement drinks my doctor has unsuccessfully tried to sell me on as a cure to my recurrent insomnia.
As a complete caffeine addict, I am pro coffee. Indeed, my day starts with the obligatory chain store cup clutched mercilessly to my hand until I feel the zingy goodness start to work its magic. To poorly paraphrase TS Eliot, my life will be measured by coffee cups.
But even if I were not completely at the mercy of a 25 year relationship with the real Colombian drug lords, I still wouldn't think to stick a straw in hot liquid and drink it. What kind of a mentallist does that?
For those not completely following me, let me draw you a map. Cup of boiling liquid. Straw channeling boiling liquid into one's mouth. And for those who have mistaken their white plastic sugar stirrer as a straw: small, narrow quasi-straw channeling boiling liquid into one's mouth.
We've all made the mistake before of hot food in the mouth - usually culminating in an overwhelming desire to either spit it out with no attempt at grace or eat with one's mouth open regardless of company. So why deliberately recreate that situation with something so clearly designed not to be used with coffee.
Now, I'm no June Dally-Watkins, so am not about to preach about coffee with a straw etiquette. But I am pragmatist, so would like to suggest the following rule of thumb:
To the straw using coffee drinkers of the world - if you don't do it at home, don't do it in public. You look like an idiot.
The inverse relationship between people who work in customer service and their desire to serve for example; why Adam Sandler films are classified as "comedy"; when reading porn on the Tube during commuter crush became acceptable and why Southgate in London is so far north it could be in Bedfordshire. But curiosities aside, I have been stopped in my tracks again by one of life’s unanswerable questions.
In our cotton wool wrapped/ no one's responsible/ risk averse world I am overwhelmed with a desire to stop people in the street and ask why?
While I could be talking about ill advised make-up or clothing so tight you can not only see VPL but the gusset seam of said panties, I am in fact talking about people who drink coffee through a straw.
Or, more specifically, people who mistake white plastic stirrers as straws and so drink coffee through a sugar stirrer.
To make myself entirely clear, I mean coffee. Not those weird frothy, coloured fruity drinks that are made in chain store coffee shops and which I suspect contain no more caffeine than those herbal supplement drinks my doctor has unsuccessfully tried to sell me on as a cure to my recurrent insomnia.
As a complete caffeine addict, I am pro coffee. Indeed, my day starts with the obligatory chain store cup clutched mercilessly to my hand until I feel the zingy goodness start to work its magic. To poorly paraphrase TS Eliot, my life will be measured by coffee cups.
But even if I were not completely at the mercy of a 25 year relationship with the real Colombian drug lords, I still wouldn't think to stick a straw in hot liquid and drink it. What kind of a mentallist does that?
For those not completely following me, let me draw you a map. Cup of boiling liquid. Straw channeling boiling liquid into one's mouth. And for those who have mistaken their white plastic sugar stirrer as a straw: small, narrow quasi-straw channeling boiling liquid into one's mouth.
We've all made the mistake before of hot food in the mouth - usually culminating in an overwhelming desire to either spit it out with no attempt at grace or eat with one's mouth open regardless of company. So why deliberately recreate that situation with something so clearly designed not to be used with coffee.
Now, I'm no June Dally-Watkins, so am not about to preach about coffee with a straw etiquette. But I am pragmatist, so would like to suggest the following rule of thumb:
To the straw using coffee drinkers of the world - if you don't do it at home, don't do it in public. You look like an idiot.
