Are you being served?
I have absolutely no idea how the Brits managed to colonise large parts of the world when they did. On a daily basis I am confronted by what I can only describe as abject stupidity and beligerence. Coupled with the fact that there is almost an unanimous agreement that there is no customer service culture in Britain, after two months in Old Blighty I find myself on almost a daily basis shaking my head in bewilderment.
For example, today I went into my bank. My bank and I didn't really get off to a good start when I arrived, as my account took almost 3 weeks to get set up despite the 48 hour guaranteed opening policy. It took, quite literally, seven phone messages (all unreturned) and one hissy fit in the bank's main branch just off Tottenham Court Road to get resolved. So I declare my hand quite openly. I have some customer service issues with my bank, mostly relating to the fact that I seem to mistakenly believe I deserve customer service and they seem to think I should shut up and accept my fate, like the rest of the Brits who, while not happy, don't seem to get agitated any more.
So, this afternoon I went into the bank to get a bank cheque drawn up to pay the bond/month up front for my accommodation. I handed over my card, explained to the person serving me what I wanted and she asked me for the amount of the cheque. I told her and she explained that for cheques of more than £300 customers must have either a European driver's licence or a passport. I provided her with my Australian driver's licence as I didn't think to bring my passport but it wasn't acceptable. I provided her with two other forms of photo ID but again not acceptable.
Identity theft is rife in the UK it seems, so I won't argue this point as the security measures are fair.
However, when I said I would just take the cash out in cash instead (and risk getting mugged on the train) she advised that I could only take out £300 in person over the counter and another £300 from the machine and then my account would be locked for 24 hours.
Presuming I had misunderstood this idiocy I laughed. She then repeated, more loudly that I could only take out £600 in total from my account. At this point I realised not only was she not joking, but she was also beginning to annoy me. I explained, succinctly, that in fact the money in the account was mine, and as I'd had to go through the security measures of effectively DNA tracking and retinal scan to open the account to begin with, surely I could have access to my funds at whatever rate I so chose. I, stupidly, had assumed that as the owner of the funds, in fact what I wanted would matter. This is just one of the cultural differences between the UK and Australia. I presume that I matter as the customer and in Australia it's true. In the UK I am just one of the millions of gormless masses who have no choice but to accept that the customer is irrelevant.
Had she at least pretended to be helpful I may not have lost it quite so much, but she effectively became that character from Little Britain (who suddenly is not so funny) who answers everything with "computer says no". So, faced with needing more cash and getting no love or help from my "customer service representative" I withdrew the funds from my australian account. So, all's well that ends well, right?
Only problem with the ATM approach is that it gave me £400 in £5 notes. So, with a wad of notes quite literally about 5 cms high, I went back to the line and handed over all the cash and asked that it be converted to a cheque. I was then told for it to be converted to a cheque, the teller would have to deposit the money in my account to draw the cheque againt my account. This is the same teller who literally only 3 minutes earlier had told me she couldn't cut me a cheque as I didn't have the correct ID. Thoroughly confused I explained that I had quite literally just withdrawn the money from the account (on her advice) so it didn't need to be deposited again, I just wanted it converted to a cheque/money order. She explained that a bank cheque needs to be drawn against the bank and so it needed to be drawn from an account. Which I understand, but as it got me firmly back to square one with needing either an EU licence or a passport it didn't help me at all.
If nothing else, my trip here has made me realise how thoroughly spoilt I am as an Australian. While we're not quite the "have a nice day culture" of the US, as a consumer my needs in Australia are not only considered, but also important. I've had some woeful customer service experiences in Aus, don't get me wrong - indeed read my earlier posting about Optus and you'll get an idea - but whenever I feel I've been poorly treated I take my business elsewhere and the new company appreciates the new business. Here, I am assured that organisations like banks are all the same. So out of sheer apathy no one complains as there is no better alternative. The words 'over' and 'barrel' spring to mind.
As do "going postal" and "why am I here?" quite regularly.
For example, today I went into my bank. My bank and I didn't really get off to a good start when I arrived, as my account took almost 3 weeks to get set up despite the 48 hour guaranteed opening policy. It took, quite literally, seven phone messages (all unreturned) and one hissy fit in the bank's main branch just off Tottenham Court Road to get resolved. So I declare my hand quite openly. I have some customer service issues with my bank, mostly relating to the fact that I seem to mistakenly believe I deserve customer service and they seem to think I should shut up and accept my fate, like the rest of the Brits who, while not happy, don't seem to get agitated any more.
So, this afternoon I went into the bank to get a bank cheque drawn up to pay the bond/month up front for my accommodation. I handed over my card, explained to the person serving me what I wanted and she asked me for the amount of the cheque. I told her and she explained that for cheques of more than £300 customers must have either a European driver's licence or a passport. I provided her with my Australian driver's licence as I didn't think to bring my passport but it wasn't acceptable. I provided her with two other forms of photo ID but again not acceptable.
Identity theft is rife in the UK it seems, so I won't argue this point as the security measures are fair.
However, when I said I would just take the cash out in cash instead (and risk getting mugged on the train) she advised that I could only take out £300 in person over the counter and another £300 from the machine and then my account would be locked for 24 hours.
Presuming I had misunderstood this idiocy I laughed. She then repeated, more loudly that I could only take out £600 in total from my account. At this point I realised not only was she not joking, but she was also beginning to annoy me. I explained, succinctly, that in fact the money in the account was mine, and as I'd had to go through the security measures of effectively DNA tracking and retinal scan to open the account to begin with, surely I could have access to my funds at whatever rate I so chose. I, stupidly, had assumed that as the owner of the funds, in fact what I wanted would matter. This is just one of the cultural differences between the UK and Australia. I presume that I matter as the customer and in Australia it's true. In the UK I am just one of the millions of gormless masses who have no choice but to accept that the customer is irrelevant.
Had she at least pretended to be helpful I may not have lost it quite so much, but she effectively became that character from Little Britain (who suddenly is not so funny) who answers everything with "computer says no". So, faced with needing more cash and getting no love or help from my "customer service representative" I withdrew the funds from my australian account. So, all's well that ends well, right?
Only problem with the ATM approach is that it gave me £400 in £5 notes. So, with a wad of notes quite literally about 5 cms high, I went back to the line and handed over all the cash and asked that it be converted to a cheque. I was then told for it to be converted to a cheque, the teller would have to deposit the money in my account to draw the cheque againt my account. This is the same teller who literally only 3 minutes earlier had told me she couldn't cut me a cheque as I didn't have the correct ID. Thoroughly confused I explained that I had quite literally just withdrawn the money from the account (on her advice) so it didn't need to be deposited again, I just wanted it converted to a cheque/money order. She explained that a bank cheque needs to be drawn against the bank and so it needed to be drawn from an account. Which I understand, but as it got me firmly back to square one with needing either an EU licence or a passport it didn't help me at all.
If nothing else, my trip here has made me realise how thoroughly spoilt I am as an Australian. While we're not quite the "have a nice day culture" of the US, as a consumer my needs in Australia are not only considered, but also important. I've had some woeful customer service experiences in Aus, don't get me wrong - indeed read my earlier posting about Optus and you'll get an idea - but whenever I feel I've been poorly treated I take my business elsewhere and the new company appreciates the new business. Here, I am assured that organisations like banks are all the same. So out of sheer apathy no one complains as there is no better alternative. The words 'over' and 'barrel' spring to mind.
As do "going postal" and "why am I here?" quite regularly.
