As good as it gets?
I know, it's been weeks since I've dropped by and so in my defense I am very lazy.
I've also relocated back home to sunny Sydney; am still being stalked by the mentalist I kicked around with briefly in London; and started work the day after I flew back (jet lag is for the weak) so I've kind of been busy catching up with friends I've not seen for 18 months and doing all that revisiting of old haunts etc.
In my absence a friend become enmeshed with a new partner, and like new shoes, all new partners require a certain period of time to become comfortable. However, the breaking in period has well and truly expired, and the partner is still as uncomfortable as shoes several sizes too small.
It’s not that he’s uncomfortable around me or other friends - more that he’s uncomfortable operating within modern socially accepted norms. He appears to be the poster boy for 1950s values and we all secretly suspect he votes with the majority.
Clearly the new partner is the yin to her yan. He is boring, opinionated, dim and uptight. He has all the spark of wet green wood and the charm of a potato.
His list of “don’t likes” is second only to War and Peace in terms of volume. He is patronising, has control issues and tops off this plentiful list of character traits with a healthy dose of misogynism.
I have tried very hard to find the good in him, however fear that I will find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow first. And so I put the question to the readers, what’s the protocol here?
How do I dump the boy but keep the girl? I appreciate it’s an age old dilemma, and one that the self-help book industry is founded on to a large degree however that doesn’t make my dinners or weekends any more tolerable.
I’m not the only one to notice. Indeed other friends have now banded together like a secret society, meeting regularly to unload their latest complaint. Our “secret handshake” has become an inability to make eye contact with each other when talking with or about the boy for fear of revealing the punch line to so many conversations that have taken place in the last few months.
I’ve not had the courage to say to her yet that I would rather set fire to myself than have dinner with them again. However as the new boy always makes me feel as welcome as herpes when I see them I’m pretty confident the invitations are rapidly drying up.
Fairly, I wish my friend well – I don’t want her to live a lonely Bridget Jones-esque life. However am not sure how much longer my magnanimous fairness can endure conversations about the play list on Foxtel, without finding myself needing to go postal.
In an effort to be open and receptive to the boy I have talent checked him with far less opinionated people than myself. However the result is always the same: an incredulous look, followed by the remark “he’s a bit dull”.
The sad reality is if only he were a “bit” dull, as opposed to this fully fledged version of boredom that is his “people person” personality in top gear.
Admittedly we’re getting to that age where Disney demands us to settle down, buy a house and have kids, but the Disney version of events sees the girl meet the boy of her dreams, not just the guy who will do!
While we’ve all been waiting for what we believe to be the gossamer thin bubble to burst, there’s been talk of moving in and marriage recently and so I’m at a cross roads. Do I buy them matching towels, wish them well and write them off, or do I buy her a copy of “quirkyalone” and hope the message sets in?
I've also relocated back home to sunny Sydney; am still being stalked by the mentalist I kicked around with briefly in London; and started work the day after I flew back (jet lag is for the weak) so I've kind of been busy catching up with friends I've not seen for 18 months and doing all that revisiting of old haunts etc.
In my absence a friend become enmeshed with a new partner, and like new shoes, all new partners require a certain period of time to become comfortable. However, the breaking in period has well and truly expired, and the partner is still as uncomfortable as shoes several sizes too small.
It’s not that he’s uncomfortable around me or other friends - more that he’s uncomfortable operating within modern socially accepted norms. He appears to be the poster boy for 1950s values and we all secretly suspect he votes with the majority.
Clearly the new partner is the yin to her yan. He is boring, opinionated, dim and uptight. He has all the spark of wet green wood and the charm of a potato.
His list of “don’t likes” is second only to War and Peace in terms of volume. He is patronising, has control issues and tops off this plentiful list of character traits with a healthy dose of misogynism.
I have tried very hard to find the good in him, however fear that I will find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow first. And so I put the question to the readers, what’s the protocol here?
How do I dump the boy but keep the girl? I appreciate it’s an age old dilemma, and one that the self-help book industry is founded on to a large degree however that doesn’t make my dinners or weekends any more tolerable.
I’m not the only one to notice. Indeed other friends have now banded together like a secret society, meeting regularly to unload their latest complaint. Our “secret handshake” has become an inability to make eye contact with each other when talking with or about the boy for fear of revealing the punch line to so many conversations that have taken place in the last few months.
I’ve not had the courage to say to her yet that I would rather set fire to myself than have dinner with them again. However as the new boy always makes me feel as welcome as herpes when I see them I’m pretty confident the invitations are rapidly drying up.
Fairly, I wish my friend well – I don’t want her to live a lonely Bridget Jones-esque life. However am not sure how much longer my magnanimous fairness can endure conversations about the play list on Foxtel, without finding myself needing to go postal.
In an effort to be open and receptive to the boy I have talent checked him with far less opinionated people than myself. However the result is always the same: an incredulous look, followed by the remark “he’s a bit dull”.
The sad reality is if only he were a “bit” dull, as opposed to this fully fledged version of boredom that is his “people person” personality in top gear.
Admittedly we’re getting to that age where Disney demands us to settle down, buy a house and have kids, but the Disney version of events sees the girl meet the boy of her dreams, not just the guy who will do!
While we’ve all been waiting for what we believe to be the gossamer thin bubble to burst, there’s been talk of moving in and marriage recently and so I’m at a cross roads. Do I buy them matching towels, wish them well and write them off, or do I buy her a copy of “quirkyalone” and hope the message sets in?
