Australian tourism: so where the bloody hell are you?
Last financial year the Australian tourism office spent $10 million AUD on an international campaign promoting Australia as a destination of choice to the northern hemisphere. The federal government has just launched the eco-friendly tourism component of this campaign.
The TVC vision was pretty much aerial footage of beaches, the red centre, barrier reef and kangaroos and ended on a bikini clad local walking out of the surf saying “so, where the bloody hell are you?”
The ads originally caused outrage in the UK because of the “profanity” inherent in the strap line, with the British Advertising Clearance Centre refusing the ads airtime.
However, negotiations, international delegations and a lot of pleading with our colonial superiors eventually saw the ban lifted and the ads are now able to be aired in “adult” time slots after 9pm.
The ads also made it across the pond to America and judging from the frustrating conversation I’ve just had, the money could have been better spent buying an atlas for every resident of our American audience.
I’ve just spent the last hour pouring over maps/guides/calendars trying to work out how long to spend in Montreal/best airport to fly into etc etc in preparation for my departure in a few weeks. When I had finally settled on a time frame and route I started the laborious process of booking flights.
So, I found a flight that worked with a major US airline, entered credit card details and came across a small hitch. Australia is not listed on the drop down country list. I figured it’s probably not an essential field, so try to get around it with no luck. I try it with another country resulting in the dialogue box advising that my credit card cannot be verified due to me not living in Venezuela.
I decide I will ring the “help desk” to get the flight booked. The convo goes something like this:
JD: Hi, I’ve just tried to book a flight… Australian credit card, not listed in drop down countries… can’t finish booking…
AA: You need to fill in all the details of your billing address to confirm the booking.
JD: Yes, yes I get that. But my country is not listed in your drop down menu.
AA: *confused muffling* Where is your country?
JD: Australia
AA: *confused muffling* Where is that? Is that part of Asia?
JD: No, it’s the world’s smallest continent.
AA: Oh, so it’s like a tiny little place somewhere?
JD: It’s land mass is marginally smaller than the US. About the same size as Brazil.
AA: No, I would know about a country that big.
JD: Apparently not.
I then launch into historical explanation about Australia, starting at Cook’s landing in 1770 – I spare him the entire Dutch discoveries some hundred years prior to this, hoping that his British history knowledge will amount to something. I explain that the country was then used as a penal settlement from 1788 until the late 1880s when the convicts were replaced by back packers wearing George Cross shirts.
AA: So, it’s part of England?
JD: Australia is a British colony. Much like how the US was a British colony. Are you part of England?
AA: No, this is America.
JD: Look, I just want to book my flight.
AA: I’ll have to transfer you to bookings. Have a nice day now.
Instead of having $10 million advertisements campaigns showing bikini clad girls on beaches, or ocker blokes throwing another “shrimp” on the barbie, it would seem to me that an ad with a map of the world and a big line from the US to Australia would be a far more effective tool.
While I’ve been travelling I’ve had some hilarious questions asked of me.
As child on the west coast of the US a Los Angelian commended my mother on our grasp of the English language by exclaiming loudly “oh, but you speak ger-rate engerlish” when my mother told her we were Australian.
The fear of sharks, snakes and spiders is a recurrent theme amongst most nationalities. Yes, we like them big and dangerous down south.
But without a doubt my favourite question was asked of me at a party a few weeks ago, when a very, very intelligent person asked me if you could drive from Melbourne to the Barrier Reef.
“Well, you could… it’s about 15 000 kilometres (9 000 miles for the metrically challenged) so you might wanna pack a lunch, “ I said baffled by the question.
“How would you suggest I get there?”
“Umm, well, I’d probably fly…”
“Oh, so there will be planes that will go there?”
Yep, and we have electricity, and there were plans for running water being installed while I was away. We are fully mod conned down south. I hear tell of these things they call wirelesses, but am not sure if this be big smoke joshing or fact.
Clearly the strap lines for advertising Australia need to be revised. And I’d suggest localising them for some countries.
For Americans possibly something like:
1. Your money has value here;
2. Australia - you probably won’t get bombed; or
3. Australia – our political leader’s also a twit.
For the Brits:
1. Coogee beach, Australia: More George Cross shirts than Manchester; or
2. Australia: like Earls Court only sunny.
The TVC vision was pretty much aerial footage of beaches, the red centre, barrier reef and kangaroos and ended on a bikini clad local walking out of the surf saying “so, where the bloody hell are you?”
Australia tourism advertisement, photo courtesy of Wikipedia
The ads originally caused outrage in the UK because of the “profanity” inherent in the strap line, with the British Advertising Clearance Centre refusing the ads airtime.
However, negotiations, international delegations and a lot of pleading with our colonial superiors eventually saw the ban lifted and the ads are now able to be aired in “adult” time slots after 9pm.
The ads also made it across the pond to America and judging from the frustrating conversation I’ve just had, the money could have been better spent buying an atlas for every resident of our American audience.
Map of the world - Aus is the green bit
I’ve just spent the last hour pouring over maps/guides/calendars trying to work out how long to spend in Montreal/best airport to fly into etc etc in preparation for my departure in a few weeks. When I had finally settled on a time frame and route I started the laborious process of booking flights.
So, I found a flight that worked with a major US airline, entered credit card details and came across a small hitch. Australia is not listed on the drop down country list. I figured it’s probably not an essential field, so try to get around it with no luck. I try it with another country resulting in the dialogue box advising that my credit card cannot be verified due to me not living in Venezuela.
I decide I will ring the “help desk” to get the flight booked. The convo goes something like this:
JD: Hi, I’ve just tried to book a flight… Australian credit card, not listed in drop down countries… can’t finish booking…
AA: You need to fill in all the details of your billing address to confirm the booking.
JD: Yes, yes I get that. But my country is not listed in your drop down menu.
AA: *confused muffling* Where is your country?
JD: Australia
AA: *confused muffling* Where is that? Is that part of Asia?
JD: No, it’s the world’s smallest continent.
AA: Oh, so it’s like a tiny little place somewhere?
JD: It’s land mass is marginally smaller than the US. About the same size as Brazil.
AA: No, I would know about a country that big.
JD: Apparently not.
I then launch into historical explanation about Australia, starting at Cook’s landing in 1770 – I spare him the entire Dutch discoveries some hundred years prior to this, hoping that his British history knowledge will amount to something. I explain that the country was then used as a penal settlement from 1788 until the late 1880s when the convicts were replaced by back packers wearing George Cross shirts.
AA: So, it’s part of England?
JD: Australia is a British colony. Much like how the US was a British colony. Are you part of England?
AA: No, this is America.
JD: Look, I just want to book my flight.
AA: I’ll have to transfer you to bookings. Have a nice day now.
Instead of having $10 million advertisements campaigns showing bikini clad girls on beaches, or ocker blokes throwing another “shrimp” on the barbie, it would seem to me that an ad with a map of the world and a big line from the US to Australia would be a far more effective tool.
While I’ve been travelling I’ve had some hilarious questions asked of me.
As child on the west coast of the US a Los Angelian commended my mother on our grasp of the English language by exclaiming loudly “oh, but you speak ger-rate engerlish” when my mother told her we were Australian.
The fear of sharks, snakes and spiders is a recurrent theme amongst most nationalities. Yes, we like them big and dangerous down south.
But without a doubt my favourite question was asked of me at a party a few weeks ago, when a very, very intelligent person asked me if you could drive from Melbourne to the Barrier Reef.
“Well, you could… it’s about 15 000 kilometres (9 000 miles for the metrically challenged) so you might wanna pack a lunch, “ I said baffled by the question.
“How would you suggest I get there?”
“Umm, well, I’d probably fly…”
“Oh, so there will be planes that will go there?”
Yep, and we have electricity, and there were plans for running water being installed while I was away. We are fully mod conned down south. I hear tell of these things they call wirelesses, but am not sure if this be big smoke joshing or fact.
Clearly the strap lines for advertising Australia need to be revised. And I’d suggest localising them for some countries.
For Americans possibly something like:
1. Your money has value here;
2. Australia - you probably won’t get bombed; or
3. Australia – our political leader’s also a twit.
For the Brits:
1. Coogee beach, Australia: More George Cross shirts than Manchester; or
2. Australia: like Earls Court only sunny.
