Maslow's hierarchy of needs
And I thought finding a job was going to be the hurdle to overcome in my merry London jaunt. Finding employment is a total doddle compared to finding a flat mate in an area that isn't a crack den and doesn't require a donation of a spare organ each month in addition to enough rent to buy a small island. I have been flat mate hunting for the last 4 weeks and can now safely say that my mental checklist of "nice suburb, near tube station and supermarket, sane flat mates, with WIFI, central heating and power shower for around £500/month" has been succintly sheared down to "must have bed in room".
I don't care if it's convenient to a supermarket any more. I'll go on a supermodel diet and not eat, or will do as the rest of london does and pick up some prepackaged monstrosity to microwave. I also don't care if it's in a nice suburb near a tube line. Realistically my friends all live in much nicer places than where I'm looking, so I'll go to them!
And as for sanity, given I have already met half of London's more certifiable, sanity also is optional currenlty. I've been staying with friends since I arrived, who are being very patient with me but are no doubt having concerns that I simply will never leave and I doubt that they will be my friends for much longer unless I exit stage left and leave and gift of some kind to show my enormous gratitude.
Coupled with the complete lack of customer service in London, of the (say) 100 places I've left messages to see I'd say about 10 people have gotten back to me. 1 of whom raised the bar on my definition of white noise so substantially that even I am astounded.
Kerry, I would use a psyedonym to protect her identity but believe publication of details to be a service to the community, listed a flatshare in a north west suburb I'm interested in. She got back to me with photos of the flat, which looked great, so I replied to her message suggesting we meet up to see the place and work out if we could live together. I give you, in its entirety, her response:
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2006 18:35:04 0000
From: kbroomtoyou@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: We can see on saturday but....
To:
Dear Jane,
Thanks for the reply and i understand you but i am also telling you again that i am NOT saying that you should pay for what you have not seen because i personally will do the same thing,i will not pay for what i have not seen as well.It is very important for us to meet and you see the flat.However,i do not want to stand on peoples promise of PAYING me cash or cheque when we meet again because of what people have done to me in the past and i have been advised by a colleague here that transfer via moneygram money transfer or western union money transfer will be suitable which i am sticking to and i have been told by my bankers not to risk giving out my bank details again because of the fraud that was done on my account lately where i lost some money which really got me devastated.
Moreso,she made me to understand that the western union is a very fast way of sending and receiving money as she has used it a couple of times and the money will be able to be collected within minutes after it is sent.
Another reason why i am doing this is because of the experience i had with people in the past who asked me to come down to London with the promise of paying me the rent in cash once we meet and thereafter disappoint me on several occasions.
I have seen people who told me that they will pay upon us seeing promising me that money is not the problem or that their company is paying or they are finacially bouyant to pay the rent and then i took permission to be absent from the conference, when we met and after seeing my flat, they definitely fall in love with it but they dont have money to pay, i dont know how people are so unserious and take pleasure in wasting other peoples time,they will start pleading with me and telling me all their problems as regards finances and how
they cannot pay until a certain period of time which of course will make me compassionate and i would be forced to help a fellow human being of accomodation at my own detriment,some even came with a lesser amount of money compared to what we agreed on.
This has occured three times in recent past and i have taken permission to be absent from training more than three times as a facilitator which is not good as a leader as i was among the committee who made the rule that no phone calls should be allowed during the seminar and participants are only free to be absent from the conference only once,the rule which i have a broken and not good for a leader in an organisation, i have therefore decide not to risk my job by pursuing uncertain rent people for certainty which is my job, it is the only source of income i have and i have to protect it very well, i dont have to take the risk of being fired out of my job because of the rent that i am pursuing. And i have also decided that even if i am going to risk taking permission, it must be based on certainty as i would have seen that the prospective tenant has paid as a sign of seriousness and committment before i waste my time and then i can arrange to see the person but i have been advised on this by a colleague/participant here.
She explained that what she can advise us to do is that :
-You can get a friend of yours that can come along with you to visit the flat and you will have to send the money via western union money transfer IN YOUR OWN NAME as the SENDER(YOUR NAME) and RECEIVER will be YOUR FRIENDS NAME.
-You will use his/her name as the RECEIVERS name and then if you are okay with the flat and me,then we can all go to a western union agent closeby to my flat there along with your friend if you transfer the money to him/her and he gets the money cashed out and give it to me since he is the only one who can also get it cashed out as your friend and if you are not okay with everything,you can go back to withdraw your money from western union as she said she has done transactions this way before.
-The reason why your friend have to be receiver is basically to give you the confidence that your money is still in your friends name and to make sure that your money is still safe since it is still in your friends name as the receiver as he is the only one who can collect it with a valid ID,maybe with a passport or drivers license and western union also advises that you should NOT send money to someone you don't know,so your friend or someone you know can fill in this place.
-Even if your friend will not be available to come with you to the flat,you can still go ahead and use his name and if after everything and you are okay,you can go back and change the name to my own name as the receiver so i can be able to cash it or you can go and withdraw the money yourself directly and give to me.
So in order for me to also be on a good side,you can go ahead and make the transfer since you have the money ready with you as said by you and thereafter,let me know immediately you do the transfer so that i can know how to squeeze out time to come and meet you.But i will have to rely on your honesty and truth that you have actually sent the money.Can you scan the papers for the western union transfer and send to my email box?Because i have to take permission to be absent from the conference and the reason why i asked you to send the scanned copy of the receipt from western union is that i will have to attach it to my exit form for permission and this will serve as an evidence that someone has truly sent money to me for rent and i have to fulfil my own part of the obligation by seeing you and concluding all the neccesary things to be done,ok?
I was made to understand that western union takes some charges and i am telling you that i will return back to you the full transfer charges whether you decide to rent the flat or not when we meet,ok?After doing the transfer,then i will have to leave here and be with you in London to meet you immediately.
You can call me on 07031860240 but that is when the transfer is done as i am very busy here and i take only important calls.I may not be able to check my mail until saturday because the conference center wants to increase the bandwidth of its internet facilities here but you can go ahead and do the transfer if you are okay with my proposition and i will call you on saturday so that we can arrange our meeting after getting the scanned copy of the receipt.Please,let me have your phone number so that i can call you.
I only want to be sure that i am not going to waste my time this time around or experience again what i have seen in the past and i think that with this condition,both of us can be sure we are not wasting our times and i will not risk being fired out of my job here.Let me know if you are okay with this so that we can proceed.Thanks so much while i will be waiting to read from you and i am looking forward to meet you,have you as my flatmates and be great friends eventually.
PS:I am sorry for the lenghty mail.I only want to explain myself better.
Needless to say, we didn't meet up but now, three weeks later and no closer to being able to leave my friends to their own home and lives, I'm thinking that paranoid, delusional and shonky for cheap rent in a good suburb is probably worth it. Honestly I've never experienced anything like it. Usually people are least meet me before they dismiss me!
I suppose I could sleep in my office. They have showers down stairs...
And as for sanity, given I have already met half of London's more certifiable, sanity also is optional currenlty. I've been staying with friends since I arrived, who are being very patient with me but are no doubt having concerns that I simply will never leave and I doubt that they will be my friends for much longer unless I exit stage left and leave and gift of some kind to show my enormous gratitude.
Coupled with the complete lack of customer service in London, of the (say) 100 places I've left messages to see I'd say about 10 people have gotten back to me. 1 of whom raised the bar on my definition of white noise so substantially that even I am astounded.
Kerry, I would use a psyedonym to protect her identity but believe publication of details to be a service to the community, listed a flatshare in a north west suburb I'm interested in. She got back to me with photos of the flat, which looked great, so I replied to her message suggesting we meet up to see the place and work out if we could live together. I give you, in its entirety, her response:
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2006 18:35:04 0000
From: kbroomtoyou@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: We can see on saturday but....
To:
Dear Jane,
Thanks for the reply and i understand you but i am also telling you again that i am NOT saying that you should pay for what you have not seen because i personally will do the same thing,i will not pay for what i have not seen as well.It is very important for us to meet and you see the flat.However,i do not want to stand on peoples promise of PAYING me cash or cheque when we meet again because of what people have done to me in the past and i have been advised by a colleague here that transfer via moneygram money transfer or western union money transfer will be suitable which i am sticking to and i have been told by my bankers not to risk giving out my bank details again because of the fraud that was done on my account lately where i lost some money which really got me devastated.
Moreso,she made me to understand that the western union is a very fast way of sending and receiving money as she has used it a couple of times and the money will be able to be collected within minutes after it is sent.
Another reason why i am doing this is because of the experience i had with people in the past who asked me to come down to London with the promise of paying me the rent in cash once we meet and thereafter disappoint me on several occasions.
I have seen people who told me that they will pay upon us seeing promising me that money is not the problem or that their company is paying or they are finacially bouyant to pay the rent and then i took permission to be absent from the conference, when we met and after seeing my flat, they definitely fall in love with it but they dont have money to pay, i dont know how people are so unserious and take pleasure in wasting other peoples time,they will start pleading with me and telling me all their problems as regards finances and how
they cannot pay until a certain period of time which of course will make me compassionate and i would be forced to help a fellow human being of accomodation at my own detriment,some even came with a lesser amount of money compared to what we agreed on.
This has occured three times in recent past and i have taken permission to be absent from training more than three times as a facilitator which is not good as a leader as i was among the committee who made the rule that no phone calls should be allowed during the seminar and participants are only free to be absent from the conference only once,the rule which i have a broken and not good for a leader in an organisation, i have therefore decide not to risk my job by pursuing uncertain rent people for certainty which is my job, it is the only source of income i have and i have to protect it very well, i dont have to take the risk of being fired out of my job because of the rent that i am pursuing. And i have also decided that even if i am going to risk taking permission, it must be based on certainty as i would have seen that the prospective tenant has paid as a sign of seriousness and committment before i waste my time and then i can arrange to see the person but i have been advised on this by a colleague/participant here.
She explained that what she can advise us to do is that :
-You can get a friend of yours that can come along with you to visit the flat and you will have to send the money via western union money transfer IN YOUR OWN NAME as the SENDER(YOUR NAME) and RECEIVER will be YOUR FRIENDS NAME.
-You will use his/her name as the RECEIVERS name and then if you are okay with the flat and me,then we can all go to a western union agent closeby to my flat there along with your friend if you transfer the money to him/her and he gets the money cashed out and give it to me since he is the only one who can also get it cashed out as your friend and if you are not okay with everything,you can go back to withdraw your money from western union as she said she has done transactions this way before.
-The reason why your friend have to be receiver is basically to give you the confidence that your money is still in your friends name and to make sure that your money is still safe since it is still in your friends name as the receiver as he is the only one who can collect it with a valid ID,maybe with a passport or drivers license and western union also advises that you should NOT send money to someone you don't know,so your friend or someone you know can fill in this place.
-Even if your friend will not be available to come with you to the flat,you can still go ahead and use his name and if after everything and you are okay,you can go back and change the name to my own name as the receiver so i can be able to cash it or you can go and withdraw the money yourself directly and give to me.
So in order for me to also be on a good side,you can go ahead and make the transfer since you have the money ready with you as said by you and thereafter,let me know immediately you do the transfer so that i can know how to squeeze out time to come and meet you.But i will have to rely on your honesty and truth that you have actually sent the money.Can you scan the papers for the western union transfer and send to my email box?Because i have to take permission to be absent from the conference and the reason why i asked you to send the scanned copy of the receipt from western union is that i will have to attach it to my exit form for permission and this will serve as an evidence that someone has truly sent money to me for rent and i have to fulfil my own part of the obligation by seeing you and concluding all the neccesary things to be done,ok?
I was made to understand that western union takes some charges and i am telling you that i will return back to you the full transfer charges whether you decide to rent the flat or not when we meet,ok?After doing the transfer,then i will have to leave here and be with you in London to meet you immediately.
You can call me on 07031860240 but that is when the transfer is done as i am very busy here and i take only important calls.I may not be able to check my mail until saturday because the conference center wants to increase the bandwidth of its internet facilities here but you can go ahead and do the transfer if you are okay with my proposition and i will call you on saturday so that we can arrange our meeting after getting the scanned copy of the receipt.Please,let me have your phone number so that i can call you.
I only want to be sure that i am not going to waste my time this time around or experience again what i have seen in the past and i think that with this condition,both of us can be sure we are not wasting our times and i will not risk being fired out of my job here.Let me know if you are okay with this so that we can proceed.Thanks so much while i will be waiting to read from you and i am looking forward to meet you,have you as my flatmates and be great friends eventually.
PS:I am sorry for the lenghty mail.I only want to explain myself better.
Needless to say, we didn't meet up but now, three weeks later and no closer to being able to leave my friends to their own home and lives, I'm thinking that paranoid, delusional and shonky for cheap rent in a good suburb is probably worth it. Honestly I've never experienced anything like it. Usually people are least meet me before they dismiss me!
I suppose I could sleep in my office. They have showers down stairs...
