The world is full of idiots: public transport rage
Ok, I feel obliged to say there will be moments of spleen venting in this blog. Not in a Miranda Devine kind of way, what with me not being the right hand of satan, but more in a "just wrong" kind of way.
For those of you not familiar with Miranda's fine work, she is much loved columnist for some of Australia's more... popular papers and her tolerance of all things weird and wonderful is somewhat like Hitler's. While I don't read her stuff regularly I did read one piece a few months ago and I want to share it with you as it still makes me giggle.
Australia is in drought. Has been for about 3 years now I guess. Full on drought, to use the vernacular of the antipodes. Water restrictions apply to something like 70% of the country. (Ed: For future reference, when I don't know the actual stats I will make them up to support my argument... this site in no way reflects the statistical reality in which any Australian actually lives... for real statistics go to www.sca.nsw.gov.au) and in Sydney water restrictions are a big thing. It means those living on the toss-pot north shore can't wash their cars every weekend, or water their non-native planted gardens. Sometimes it means they can't fill their pools. For the rest of us living south of the bridge, this means we install water saving devices on our showers and get on with it.
Sydney, like most cities, is divided into cliques. The majority of the north shore is filled with pretentious wanna bes with a strange cultured accent and weird fascination with Laura Ashley. The eastern suburbs is a real dichotomy. It has enormously wealthy suburbs and then suburbs where you simply cannot get to the beach without stepping over 4 000 UK back packers camped out by the water's edge. The Shire encompasses most of the southern suburbs, and the less said the better. People who live in the Shire love the Shire, for reasons that are a complete mystery to me. Even the hobbits wanted to leave the Shire for adventures, and they had the black riders chasing them! And then there is the inner west, which encompasses the parts of Sydney that have fantastic food, the best music and nightlife and generally the best people. It also, according to a recent survey, has the highest rate of depression in Sydney, and in defence of my neighbours and friends I would like to say that the sample taken for this survey obviously was horrendously depressed as the rest of the inner west was out having a brilliant time in all that the inner west has to offer!
Then there's the western suburbs, which is where this story is heading. Sydney's main water storage supply is in the western suburbs, near the foot of the Blue Mountains from memory, and so when it rains, rain is meant to flow from the Blue Mountains river system into said catchment, forming a large water supply for sunny Sydney. However as we've been in drought, there's been no rain, so we have a diminishing water supply, hence the water restrictions. It does, however rain quite regularly on the north side of the bridge, which unfortunately misses the catchment run off as it's on the north side of the bridge. Keep up, I'm getting back to young Miranda shortly.... so Ms Devine, in a relatively recent tirade masquerading as a column, was banging on about moving the catchment over to the north side, as that's where it buckets down. From my very very brief description above of the catchment process can any of you see a problem with this? Possibly the need for a large, large area of land to build an enormous dam into which a river runs would be one off the top of my head. While I am in total agreement with flooding the entire north shore so that Miranda can wash her car more regularly, I think the effects on the eco-system may be somewhat damaging... although now that I'm thinking about it, they would probably be positive as all those soccer mums in their 4WD wouldn't be able to pump petrol/disel fuels into the air any more. However, the point of my tirade is that I love it when people say stupid stuff emphatically and not to totally take the mick out of themselves. I regularly say stupid stuff, but that's because I'm not that bright so it's kind of expected I guess!
And now to my Miranda tirade moment. This is an open letter to the users of public transport world wide:
When you get on your bus/train/tram move away from the door. \You will not lose it, it will still be there even if you move slightly to the left. If you get on and stop, it means those of us behind you can't get on, or if we do get on we have to step around/over you and invariably hurt ourselves because you're behaving like some 5 year old on the first day of school afraid to leave the sight of the bus driver. Seriously, I thought this was only a Sydney thing, but having now used public transport in 8 additional countries in 12 weeks I can confidently say that the world is filled with dolts. The bit I honestly don't get is that if said dolt moves 3 foot further inside the bus/train/tram they will possibly find a seat or indeed at least find somewhere with a bit of room so they don't have random people frotting against them for the entire trip. And to the people that use a seat for their bag/brief case/imaginary friend. Very simply, if you didn't pay for 2 seats I am going to sit there. You can death stare me all you want, I've had worse done by better people. If you honestly have personal space issues, walk. See how simple it is to find a solution to your problem without making it mine?!
And don't even get me started on the people who hold hands while they walk in peak hour pedestrian traffic!
For those of you not familiar with Miranda's fine work, she is much loved columnist for some of Australia's more... popular papers and her tolerance of all things weird and wonderful is somewhat like Hitler's. While I don't read her stuff regularly I did read one piece a few months ago and I want to share it with you as it still makes me giggle.
Australia is in drought. Has been for about 3 years now I guess. Full on drought, to use the vernacular of the antipodes. Water restrictions apply to something like 70% of the country. (Ed: For future reference, when I don't know the actual stats I will make them up to support my argument... this site in no way reflects the statistical reality in which any Australian actually lives... for real statistics go to www.sca.nsw.gov.au) and in Sydney water restrictions are a big thing. It means those living on the toss-pot north shore can't wash their cars every weekend, or water their non-native planted gardens. Sometimes it means they can't fill their pools. For the rest of us living south of the bridge, this means we install water saving devices on our showers and get on with it.
Sydney, like most cities, is divided into cliques. The majority of the north shore is filled with pretentious wanna bes with a strange cultured accent and weird fascination with Laura Ashley. The eastern suburbs is a real dichotomy. It has enormously wealthy suburbs and then suburbs where you simply cannot get to the beach without stepping over 4 000 UK back packers camped out by the water's edge. The Shire encompasses most of the southern suburbs, and the less said the better. People who live in the Shire love the Shire, for reasons that are a complete mystery to me. Even the hobbits wanted to leave the Shire for adventures, and they had the black riders chasing them! And then there is the inner west, which encompasses the parts of Sydney that have fantastic food, the best music and nightlife and generally the best people. It also, according to a recent survey, has the highest rate of depression in Sydney, and in defence of my neighbours and friends I would like to say that the sample taken for this survey obviously was horrendously depressed as the rest of the inner west was out having a brilliant time in all that the inner west has to offer!
Then there's the western suburbs, which is where this story is heading. Sydney's main water storage supply is in the western suburbs, near the foot of the Blue Mountains from memory, and so when it rains, rain is meant to flow from the Blue Mountains river system into said catchment, forming a large water supply for sunny Sydney. However as we've been in drought, there's been no rain, so we have a diminishing water supply, hence the water restrictions. It does, however rain quite regularly on the north side of the bridge, which unfortunately misses the catchment run off as it's on the north side of the bridge. Keep up, I'm getting back to young Miranda shortly.... so Ms Devine, in a relatively recent tirade masquerading as a column, was banging on about moving the catchment over to the north side, as that's where it buckets down. From my very very brief description above of the catchment process can any of you see a problem with this? Possibly the need for a large, large area of land to build an enormous dam into which a river runs would be one off the top of my head. While I am in total agreement with flooding the entire north shore so that Miranda can wash her car more regularly, I think the effects on the eco-system may be somewhat damaging... although now that I'm thinking about it, they would probably be positive as all those soccer mums in their 4WD wouldn't be able to pump petrol/disel fuels into the air any more. However, the point of my tirade is that I love it when people say stupid stuff emphatically and not to totally take the mick out of themselves. I regularly say stupid stuff, but that's because I'm not that bright so it's kind of expected I guess!
And now to my Miranda tirade moment. This is an open letter to the users of public transport world wide:
When you get on your bus/train/tram move away from the door. \You will not lose it, it will still be there even if you move slightly to the left. If you get on and stop, it means those of us behind you can't get on, or if we do get on we have to step around/over you and invariably hurt ourselves because you're behaving like some 5 year old on the first day of school afraid to leave the sight of the bus driver. Seriously, I thought this was only a Sydney thing, but having now used public transport in 8 additional countries in 12 weeks I can confidently say that the world is filled with dolts. The bit I honestly don't get is that if said dolt moves 3 foot further inside the bus/train/tram they will possibly find a seat or indeed at least find somewhere with a bit of room so they don't have random people frotting against them for the entire trip. And to the people that use a seat for their bag/brief case/imaginary friend. Very simply, if you didn't pay for 2 seats I am going to sit there. You can death stare me all you want, I've had worse done by better people. If you honestly have personal space issues, walk. See how simple it is to find a solution to your problem without making it mine?!
And don't even get me started on the people who hold hands while they walk in peak hour pedestrian traffic!
Said bullying has left deep psychological scars on these folks that now prevent them from progressing past the imaginary line of security (the back doors usually). I always want to take these poor people by the arm and gently lead them towards the back of the bus and in gentle soothing tones say "See, it's okay. No one's going to give you a wedgie or throw your prada man-bag out the window." Inevitably there's a teenager sitting right in the middle of the back seat though, chewing gum in that suspicious and slightly menacing way that only teenagers can do, which then makes me slightly nervous as well... that's a whole other rant though.
PS - Ease up on the north shore! We're not all 4WD driving soccer mums with Miranda Devine leanings...
And as to the north shore, you may not have the 3.2 kids and Range Rover yet, but it's only a matter of time. Interestingly, if the Lane Cove river was dammed, then maybe Miranda's original plan to move the catchment might have some merit?