Walk like an Egyptian
As I said a few posts ago, the weather in London was starting to do my head in, or more specificallly the complete lack of light was starting to unhinge me and so I booked a trip to Egypt.
Keep in mind, I've never been a "package tour" kind of person, preferring to buy a guide and figure it out on the flight. However, after reading various travel warnings and discussing the country with a few mates, I didn't feel comfortable travelling alone and so booked a 7 day Nile Cruise. As I've never really been all that interest in ancient history I didn't really care what temples I would see, as the mental image I had was of me sunning myself by the pool holding an umbrella drink.
In hindsight I probably should have booked a week in Mauritius or the Maldives!
Words genuinely fail me when it comes to describing how god awful Egypt was, which given this writing thing is kind of my gig should say a lot.
The cruise itself was boring as bat shit after about an hour because the landscape doesn't change much. It's pretty much just bucket loads of water, mountains and palm trees. Lovely for about 5 minutes, then just a boring screen saver.
And other than me, one South African and one American, the rest of my cruising companions were retired British northerners. The clientelle, as described by a mate, was like a doctor's waiting room. So my usual travel convos about places to go/see/do were somewhat... different than usual. Lots of talk about other tours people have done. Cruises they've enjoyed, trips to little ex-pat communities like Majorca or Ibiza where they can have egg and chips every day and not have to face "foreign" food like goats cheese or olives. I couldn't do justice to the story of trying to explain what tahini is, let alone trying to describe the look on their faces after I convinced several on my table to try it.
Not only were my travel companions a slightly different demographic to the ones I usually discover, but it seems that when retired brits are given their passports, they are also given an English football kit which must be worn constantly. Canadian backpackers will invariably have a Canadian flag sewn to their backpacks (to make sure people do not pick them as American I was reliably told by a Canadian traveller I met!) and it seems Brits must wear their #7 shirt, complete with sports socks pulled all the way up to their mid calf and worn with beach comber sandals. If it wasn't for the fact that I was living it I would have said it was a Mr Bean pisstake.
So, not only was I bemused by the thought of being stuck in my floating retirement village for the next 7 days, but our egptologist guide also drove me mental. He simply would not be silent. And he could not be awkward silenced, despite my best efforts. It kind of became my mission for the trip, but he remained impervious to my attempts.
In his effort to explain the mysticism of pyramids said that if you build a pyramid in your back yard (with all angles at 52 degrees) and take a bite of an apple and place it under the pyramid (in the catacomb) that in 6 months time the apple will be perfectly shrunken but not rotten. Like one of those little voodoo heads urban goths wear around their necks. Also if you place blunt razors under said pyramid they will be returned to razor sharpness in 6 months, due to the mystery of the pyramids and something to do with metal beading that I didn't really listen to, being perplexed about the apple. Would it also work with stone fruit? What about a banana? If Fred West had built a pyramid out the back rather than just burying his victims in the cellar floor would we regard him as a slightly eccentric serial killer rather than a bog standard nut job? And why is 6 months important? Is that an ancient Egyptian season? None of these questions asked during question time were well received. Or answered for that matter.
And I dispute the razor business as I went into the Luxor museum and saw various accoutrements from Tutankhamun's tomb, including various little dagger knife things (scarabs? something like that) and there was no way I would use one to shave my legs.
As said, I've no interest at all in ancient history so it was all a bit pointless. But the weather was amazing. High 20s each day, not a cloud to be seen, so all good.
I saw a bizarre number of other passengers watching the river each day for the possibility of a crocodile until I pointed out the enormous numbers of other ferries all dropping their bilge into the ports, and suggested that the water was more polluted than the Murray. The ferries were hilarious, mostly reconditioned car ferries or decommissioned container ships refitted.
In terms of travelling solo in Egypt as a woman I simply would not recommend it. The locals were not that friendly and could be intimidating at times. The vendors would sort of herd you into shops and then not let you out until you bought something, physically blocking the door. Which didn't so much as scare me as annoy me. So I think it's reasonable to say that the current impression of australians in Luxor is loud, angry and profane.
It may be entirely different in Cairo, Alexandria and even around the Red Sea, but the Nile was just fairly dull.
Keep in mind, I've never been a "package tour" kind of person, preferring to buy a guide and figure it out on the flight. However, after reading various travel warnings and discussing the country with a few mates, I didn't feel comfortable travelling alone and so booked a 7 day Nile Cruise. As I've never really been all that interest in ancient history I didn't really care what temples I would see, as the mental image I had was of me sunning myself by the pool holding an umbrella drink.
In hindsight I probably should have booked a week in Mauritius or the Maldives!
Words genuinely fail me when it comes to describing how god awful Egypt was, which given this writing thing is kind of my gig should say a lot.
The cruise itself was boring as bat shit after about an hour because the landscape doesn't change much. It's pretty much just bucket loads of water, mountains and palm trees. Lovely for about 5 minutes, then just a boring screen saver.
The Nile River, Luxor, more than 6 000 kms of boredom
And other than me, one South African and one American, the rest of my cruising companions were retired British northerners. The clientelle, as described by a mate, was like a doctor's waiting room. So my usual travel convos about places to go/see/do were somewhat... different than usual. Lots of talk about other tours people have done. Cruises they've enjoyed, trips to little ex-pat communities like Majorca or Ibiza where they can have egg and chips every day and not have to face "foreign" food like goats cheese or olives. I couldn't do justice to the story of trying to explain what tahini is, let alone trying to describe the look on their faces after I convinced several on my table to try it.
Not only were my travel companions a slightly different demographic to the ones I usually discover, but it seems that when retired brits are given their passports, they are also given an English football kit which must be worn constantly. Canadian backpackers will invariably have a Canadian flag sewn to their backpacks (to make sure people do not pick them as American I was reliably told by a Canadian traveller I met!) and it seems Brits must wear their #7 shirt, complete with sports socks pulled all the way up to their mid calf and worn with beach comber sandals. If it wasn't for the fact that I was living it I would have said it was a Mr Bean pisstake.
So, not only was I bemused by the thought of being stuck in my floating retirement village for the next 7 days, but our egptologist guide also drove me mental. He simply would not be silent. And he could not be awkward silenced, despite my best efforts. It kind of became my mission for the trip, but he remained impervious to my attempts.
In his effort to explain the mysticism of pyramids said that if you build a pyramid in your back yard (with all angles at 52 degrees) and take a bite of an apple and place it under the pyramid (in the catacomb) that in 6 months time the apple will be perfectly shrunken but not rotten. Like one of those little voodoo heads urban goths wear around their necks. Also if you place blunt razors under said pyramid they will be returned to razor sharpness in 6 months, due to the mystery of the pyramids and something to do with metal beading that I didn't really listen to, being perplexed about the apple. Would it also work with stone fruit? What about a banana? If Fred West had built a pyramid out the back rather than just burying his victims in the cellar floor would we regard him as a slightly eccentric serial killer rather than a bog standard nut job? And why is 6 months important? Is that an ancient Egyptian season? None of these questions asked during question time were well received. Or answered for that matter.
Luxor Temple, arty no?
And I dispute the razor business as I went into the Luxor museum and saw various accoutrements from Tutankhamun's tomb, including various little dagger knife things (scarabs? something like that) and there was no way I would use one to shave my legs.
As said, I've no interest at all in ancient history so it was all a bit pointless. But the weather was amazing. High 20s each day, not a cloud to be seen, so all good.
Philae Temple, Egypt.
I saw a bizarre number of other passengers watching the river each day for the possibility of a crocodile until I pointed out the enormous numbers of other ferries all dropping their bilge into the ports, and suggested that the water was more polluted than the Murray. The ferries were hilarious, mostly reconditioned car ferries or decommissioned container ships refitted.
In terms of travelling solo in Egypt as a woman I simply would not recommend it. The locals were not that friendly and could be intimidating at times. The vendors would sort of herd you into shops and then not let you out until you bought something, physically blocking the door. Which didn't so much as scare me as annoy me. So I think it's reasonable to say that the current impression of australians in Luxor is loud, angry and profane.
It may be entirely different in Cairo, Alexandria and even around the Red Sea, but the Nile was just fairly dull.
Nice too see thats all here.
I was there too and all thats make me good.
Hope i can go there some time again.